Shinjiro "take your meds" Aragaki [荒垣 真次郎] (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hoboagogo) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
nerdsandnoods2017-10-24 07:36 pm
hoboagogo) wrote in nerdsandnoods2017-10-24 07:36 pm
boyfriend is a snake, news at eleven
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Shinjiro had learned to stop asking questions on 'how' or 'why' years ago. He'd learned even then that 1. you usually never got an answer, and 2. the answer rarely actually changed anything that needed doing. He'd also, years ago, gotten pretty maxed out on weirdness- being made aware of a time distortion where monsters fed on peoples minds, that he and a few other teens were able to shoot themselves and pull forth monsters to fight them-- pretty strange. And understanding it didn't change much of anything.
So, yeah. He's taken his boyfriend becoming a snake-man pretty well, all things considered.
It's bizarre, sure. Nothing not weird about that. But by now he's pretty burnt out on being mindfucked, and tends to roll with it as easily as anyone is expected to be. So as surprising and strange as it is, Shinjiro hasn't exactly gotten sidetracked with trying to figure out how or why it's happened- instead focusing on trying to figure out what Akihiko needs now, and what's changed in that respect.
(He did really well for the first few days- not straight up asking if his long-time best friend was gonna eat rats and rabbits live. Not asking him about bodily functions. Trying to just be the constantly dry and abrasive asshole he assumes akihiko has come to love(????) and rely on(even more ???????'s).
But it didn't take too long for his curiosity to get the better of him- especially as it seems more and more that this won't swiftly reverse itself. His first slip up was likely just brusquely asking 'so do you even need all these pants anymore?' while helping make adjustments to Akihiko's room.)
There's been a few minor adjustments, sure- like putting a damned heat lamp into Akihiko's room to help him not become a sluggish mess in ambient room temperature (Shinjiro hates it, hates how sweltering it always is in there now-) and clearing a bit more room for him to get about a bit more easily as someone smarter than him works on figuring out what this is about and how to fix it. But for the most part, he's returned to business as usual as much as possible, if only to help provide some sort of unwavering constant for Akihiko to hold to. Because... really, if it were him? he'd hate it being made a huge deal out of. It's hard enough to deal with shit on your own- having everyone walk on eggshells just adds another layer of awkwardness to it.
...Though that doesn't really explain why he rudely lets himself into the other man's room, carrying a drink, with a casual "Yo, scale-face. You up?" Of course Akihiko can't exactly go to school like this, so it tends to just be the two of them and the dog throughout the day- and Shinji really can't complain about that. But he does lift an eyebrow at a huge piece of... scale-dandruff or something on the floor, crouching just enough to pick up the shed skin between his fingers and wrinkling his nose. Gross.
"Man, this don't come off in one piece?" He stands again, setting the glass onto Akihiko's desk and looking at the huge flake of skin a bit more carefully. It's... kinda cool, he guesses, being able to see the texture of scales on it... but it's still a huge piece of snake dandruff. "That's gotta be a pain in the ass." A shrug, and he just... drops it on the floor again. They can vacuum or something when it's all done. Whatever.
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( He thinks he might make them uncomfortable, or something. But he doesn't let himself think along those lines for very long, because he's never quite been an optimist but he's never been a defeatist, either. As long as he can exist somewhere between the two extremes, he's doing pretty well for himself. )
"Would it be weird, you think, to just hang out under a blanket?" he asks with a laugh as his exhale, shaking his head and all but waving it off like it's a joke he'd even suggested it in the first place. After all, the comment had been more of a tease than anything else. Even if it would be nice to roam about freely every once in a while, he —
He doesn't want to trap Shinji in the sweltering heat of his own room. He's found himself caught between a damned rock and a hard place and he's probably more frustrated with himself than he should be — because this isn't his fault, and both of them are dancing around it in the sense that he's well aware that it's going to take even more getting used to than he had initially tried to convince himself.
This mess of introspection is becoming just that in his own head. A fucking mess.
And there's a little bit of silence after that last comment on the other's end, something that has the wheels turning in Akihiko's head like they have been for … how long, now? "Just thought I'd give you an out if you wanted one," he finally says, like it's the most damned natural thing in the world. Just go ahead and picture a dismissive wave of his hand if he'd bothered to give one.
"Figures it would take something like me growing a tail for you to stop dodging me." Oh. Ouch, buddy.
But he doesn't really mean it.
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And. Y'know. Akihiko being part snake now.
So yeah. Hang out under a blanket as much as you want.
He finally reaches the access door for the roof, pressing the heel of his hand into the bar across it, and shoving it open. There's a moment of blinking as his eyes adjust to the sunlight (Because he... hasn't been out yet today, ok. Someone else took out the dog in the morning, and he's had his own curtains pulled.) but he steps forward enough to hold the door open for Akihiko. "Trust me, if I needed an out, I'd find my own. Points for tryin', though."
The jab about dodging him, though, is well earned- and for a moment, Shinjiro almost looks something close to apologetic- but the expression is wiped away quickly enough as he chooses to just... act as though he didn't hear that dig, at first. (And maybe Aki is right. Maybe it did take something like this to have him stop avoiding Akihiko, avoiding all the memories and feelings that came with being around him. Even as they've tried to re-establish themselves, and Shinjiro has tried to repair everything strained between them, there's still those days he pulls back, either physically or emotionally.)
Finally he steps out onto the roof proper, shoulders rolling back as he stretches his upper back and arms with a short series of pops. And now that his avoidance tactics are used up, he glances out at the city in front of them, instead of looking to his friend beside.
"...Yeah, well. At least I'm here now." It's a shitty brush-off, but it's all he has. "And the tail ain't a half-bad look for you."
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( Their lives. They're little more than actual bullshit, sometimes, and he realizes that. Realizes and accepts it just as easily as he has this new tail of his, as easily as he's taken to curling around the nearest warm thing when he feels that inevitable chill in the air, and while that nearest warm thing happens to near-always be Shinji, he. Doesn't want to find himself taking that for granted, because he never wants to take something that important for granted.
Not Shinji. Never Shinji. )
He rolls his eyes just for the added effect as he slithers ( mhm, yep, slithers ) through the door being held open for him, all but immediately basking in the warmth the sun gives over the moment he's over the threshold. "Hey, points are points, and I'll take them." He tries for a smile, and manages it — though it does end up feeling just a little bit strained, because he can all but feel the other pulling away from him again, perhaps more emotionally now, rather than physically, and it's just one of those days that he sticks a figurative foot in his mouth every time he finds it open. Because he can never outright say what he means.
I miss you.
Akihiko looks behind him as he stretches his arms over his head, working out all the kinks in muscles he hadn't been aware of, gaze just a little bit hooded. He smirks, a knowing thing, an accepting thing. "You're here now," he echoes, and tips his face up toward the sun like he's drinking it in. "Don't lie. You've always been bad at it."
About the tail thing. He's a damned freak and you know it. You both know it.
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If he were a smarter person, he'd probably try and consider his words before speaking- especially in lieu of the awkward lapse between them, the silence stretching thin between his attempts at normalcy and his friend calling him out. If he were any better at this, he's try and find something that won't just... make things weirder.
Instead, he opens his mouth and responds near-immediately: "Alright, fine. It's a good look for you."
(Goddamnit, Aragaki, no, the idea was not</> to make things weirder--)
But he doesn't backpedal from the words- if things go south, he can always just... claim it was some shitty joke, right? But truth be told, he doesn't think it's that bad. Different, sure. Probably a pain in the ass to navigate and re-learn. But there's nothing inherently disgusting or off-putting about the fact that his friend just happens to have a snake-tail right now.
(Maybe he's just gotten used to these things.)
"...And piss off, I'm a better liar than you." Not that it.. makes him any good. Shinjiro had always been way better at simple omission and avoidance- and with Akihiko, he has entirely too many tells.
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He doesn't believe that appearance for a second.
But he does start — just a little at the other's subsequent admittance, and you know what? He's always been a pale son of a bitch, the slightest hint of color streaking like lightning across his features and lighting him up like Christmas in July at the rise of his cheekbones, the bridge of his nose, and he plays it off like everything else, water rolling off his back even as the core of him sparks at the notion. The idea.
It's a good look for you.
"You're a shit liar, Aragaki," he all but teases as he finds his voice again, pulling himself up to what had previously been his full height and, now, is little more than using the length of his newfound tail to his advantage. "Being better than me doesn't get you anything." He folds his arms over his chest like he might under ordinary circumstances, turning his full gaze on his friend like he might if they were having an ordinary conversation.
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(and to better just... not look at Aki and acknowledge the fact that it's probably just himself being weird about this. Even now, unconsciously pulling back.)
"And sure it does. It gets me the satisfaction that I'm at least better than you at something." A weak retort, maybe a bit too self-depreciating, but it's all he's got after feeling a bit self-conscious about that weird compliment he just gave his friend-turned-snake-man.
"So the sun feeling any better, or's it still too cold out?" When in doubt, just change the damn subject.
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Because some things are never, ever going to change, and he appreciates that so much more than he'll ever be able to put words to. Really. "Would if I could," he ends up giving over mildly, giving the other a second to take in the scenery below ( aka gather himself, for lack of better phrasing ), waving a dismissive hand that he probably doesn't see as he slides up next to him again. He has to admit, even if only to himself that the view is pretty nice up here — though he can't very well say he's ever been great at taking in that sort of thing.
What is this, an acknowledgment to stop and smell the flowers? Jeez, what turning into half a snake will do to you.
Absently, he slips in close. Close enough to allow him to drop his chin to his friend's shoulder and linger there for a moment, not only soaking up that extra warmth but just. Appreciating that they can still act normal even when things have been tossed up in the air, and it's a comforting thing that he falls back on so much more than he'll ever admit to, because that's just one more thing that Shinjiro does better than him, without even knowing it.
You're here, and that's all that matters.
"Don't know if it's the sun, or you," he teases absently, still lingering, chuckling against the curve of his shoulder. "But … yeah."
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But-- that thoguht is too real, too uncomfortable. So as always, he shoves it from his mind. Better to avoid and face it later.)
So instead he just folds his arms across his chest, letting out a neutral hum at Akihiko's teasing- but the fact that he hasn't completely shrugged the other man off him is probably encouragement enough to serve as either agreement of complacence.
But that first comment....
"Yeah, I'd been wondering 'bout that. Didn't really know how to ask." Other than just outright saying: so, did you lose your dick, too? Because not that he's been inspecting or anything, but he sure hasn't seen anything on the underside of Akihiko's scaly belly that would indicate one way or the other. (Because that's just- a natural curiosity to have, right? Your friend becomes a snake-man, and you start wondering what happened with his junk. it's totally normal. Nothing weird about it. If their situation was reversed, he's sure Akihiko would...
...okay, bad example. But regardless. Totally normal.)
"I mean, good thing you weren't using it anyway, I guess."
(your friend is an asshole, aki.)
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It isn't something he's going to let himself think about, either, because he is going to find a way to fix this and get himself back to normal.
If anyone in this group has ever been normal in the first place. )
In all honesty, he really should have thought about what he'd said before he'd said it, no matter how flippantly he'd meant it in the first place; Shinjiro Aragaki has only ever been the least possessed of tact, doesn't really bother beating around the bush if he wants to get something off his chest and of course he would latch onto something like that with every single tooth he has. It isn't that it makes Akihiko uncomfortable — of all the things they haven't talked about yet, this is certainly one of them, and even if he wouldn't have minded the lack of conversation period on this subject … ehh.
If there's going to be anyone he discusses this sort of thing with, it's going to be him. He trusts him that much.
He ends up giving over a miffed sort of sound to mask the encroaching embarrassment, putting a bit of distance between them so the other doesn't feel the heat creeping into his cheeks. He'll be able to see it well enough when he turns his head and notices his pale-ass friend now more closely resembles a pomegranate.
"Oh, like you knew I wasn't?" He manages to sound just a little bit insulted!
But. Nope. Totally true. "Should've let me know you were a psychic. Could have come in handy a time or two before now."
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(Pot, Kettle. Et Cetera.)
Even as Akihiko backs away, though, he follows, keeps there from being too much space between them. Because even when they're the ones actively pushing at each other, they're also the first to give chase and close that gap. "Hey, you know I'm just giving you shit." Which is the closest he'll come to saying 'hey, sorry, don't be pissed.' He reaches out to catch Akihiko's shoulder, head tilting to try and catch the other man's eye.
As much as they love giving each other hell, there's always the faint worry he's stepped too far, too quickly-- tread on something that was actually sensitive, done real damage. After all, this-- all of this, whatever this is-- is new and huge and probably terrifying. While they can't fucking mope about it, he can at least try to keep an eye on the other man, make sure he's not shoving them too hard back into an attempt at normalcy.
But calling attention to his worries would just make things weird and serious-- so as always, he'll avoid it, holding up a hand in mock-surrender.
"But alright, alright. Only using the powers of basic observation for the forces of good, got it."
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He doesn't cut him any slack. Doesn't give him any time to feel sorry for himself or anything that would otherwise find him moping about like he's. Been cursed in some fashion that finds him boasting a few scales and a lack of legs.
He's grateful for the normalcy. Always has been, always will be.
He isn't pissed — isn't anything close to it because he could never really be upset ( well, for too long ) at the other for calling him out so gracelessly, if only because it means he knows him to the point of being able to call out his tells, call bullshit when he needs to in order to keep the ridiculously off-center sort of balance they have going on here. "I know," he mumbles, and he tries for a laugh but he's still so damned embarrassed that the sound loses itself in the back of his throat, lingers on the back of his tongue as he continues his impression of a red-skinned fruit.
Whether or not Shinji wants to go back to the normal end of conversation, it's gotten Aki thinking, and he's well aware of the need to come to terms with this sort of thing — especially if they can't find some way to make it go the hell away — and he rolls his shoulders in a shrug, something that still seems forced, but for all intents and purposes presents itself as him admitting defeat. He's going to talk about it.
"It's. Just. Weird, I guess." Yeah, that's putting it mildly. "I still don't know what the hell I'm doing. A beat of pause, and then he's actually grinning again. "So, psychic. Tell me how to deal with that." Oh.
Weren't expecting that, were you?
Neither was he, tbh. These things just happen.no subject
But really, what is there to describe this other than 'weird'? How else could they explain this mess of a situation they're wading through? Because it is weird, in the most significant-to-daily-life way since waking to the Dark Hour has been.
He shrugs, moving close to close that gap. "...Yeah, I dunno if you could know what you're doing just yet. Still pretty early for that." He rolls a shoulder. "I mean... you had eighteen years to get used to how things were before. I'm impressed you can even get around on your own so quick without falling over and flopping about."
While he doesn't quite manage anything as encouraging as a smile, he does examine Akihiko seriously- giving this moment the attention it deserves. "You doing really damn well."
Annnd then the moment passes, and he playfully claps a hand on Akihiko's shoulder again. "Dunno what to do 'bout your missing dick, though. Take a night and go hunting, I guess." Because that's what he assumes Akihiko is asking him how to deal with. "Gotta have something going on somewhere. It ain't like baby snakes pop outta nowhere."
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How does this actually happen?
He gives a bit of a derisive snort, not as an interruption but as something that drives that point home, and it's his own dry sense of humor that sees him following up with — "You weren't around for the first day." Not as an accusation, or anything that might otherwise color his friend in an unwanted light. "You'd have laughed at me if you'd seen it, and I wouldn't have blamed you. It was … something." Oh, that self-deprecating humor.
Maybe he learned that from you? But it's anyone's guess. Really.
The closing of that gap is something that he finds. Reassuring in the sense that he needs that sort of contact regardless of whether or not he admits to it, and he drops his forehead to the other's shoulder in the smallest admittance of I need some help that doesn't last very long at all before he pulls back, because he doesn't want to be too much before they've had a chance to figure all of this out.
The assumption isn't lost on him, though it had been more of a joke than anything else and he rolls his shoulders with the suggestion, ducking his head down low so that Shinjiro doesn't see the splay of his smile, something that effectively spreads him wide open and keeps him amused, because it had all been for show.
At least he thinks. "Never been much of a hunter," he muses, slow and easy, like he's brushing the whole damned thing off. Like he hadn't meant anything with the question in the first place. "I'll figure it out, if I even bother." A beat, a breath, and an exhale. "Seems like a lot of trouble."
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They can at least inject whatever sort of normalcy they can.
"Yeah, kinda sad I missed it," And thankfully he doesn't pull too deeply into those thoughts- into the idea of him not being around when Akihiko needed him again. "I figure your getting pissed at me laughing woulda been some good motivation. The quicker you could get over here, the quicker you could pop me one." And, really. As baffling as this whole thing is, that would have been pretty funny to see.
But even though it hasn't been too long, he's glad Akihiko seems to have gotten a handle on a lot of it. Sure, he's shedding in weird patches all over, probably itching around the scales, and they don't know how he even works, but he's making it through as decently as anyone could be expected to.
"I'm surprised you ain't ended up in any knots yet. I woulda lost track of the rest've it and gotten tied around something somehow." He shrugs the shoulder that Akihiko isn't resting a hand on, content to just stand here and be a support for the other man.
"The rest'll come in time, I figure. And if you never feel like fucking with it, then just don't. No huge loss."
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He's immeasurably grateful for it, even if the thread of the current conversation had taken a turn that he wasn't expecting — that is to be expected, quite honestly, because the other has only ever been the most adept at throwing him for a loop.
It's good that neither of them linger too long on the thoughts of Shinjiro not being there — because he doesn't hold it against him, can't and won't, because there was no way to know this would happen and it's just a matter of blah blah circumstance and blah blah their lives are full of weird shit and he's acclimating well enough, he thinks. Barring the whole shedding thing, he likes to think he's getting the hang of it well enough.
Even still, he snorts a laugh. "Oh, yeah, great motivator. Wanting to punch you in the nose." He says it fondly, for all he tries to keep a certain level of something in his voice and ultimately falls short, huffing out his next exhale with a roll of his eyes. "I guess it's worked before, makes sense if it works now."
What is he hinting at? Hm.
… Though he does go just a little bit more pale at the mention of getting knotted up, and looks off into the distance at some nondescript point, because like hell he's about to admit that — "The first day was. Something." Look. He isn't saying he got knotted up but he's not not saying he did —
And. Shut up. Just shut up right now.
He chooses instead to pick up on that last little bit of dialogue, now-slitted pupils dilating just the slightest bit as silver brows steadily climb his forehead. "No huge loss?"
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A bit of a strange summary of their friendship, but not entirely wrong.
And he knows better than to press when Akihiko's face drains to an even paler shade, something almost ghostly at whatever memory is flooding up behind those steely eyes. Instead he's just quiet for a moment, letting the silence speak for itself. (And trying not to scoff out an amused noise at the idea of Akihiko ended up tied around a chair leg or something. Or closing his tail in a door. Or-- actually, all of these things are really sad now that he actually thinks about it.
Shit. Now he feels kind of bad. At least he's not the type to overtly express it.)
"Hm?" His head tilts, drawing back out of his thoughts as Akihiko speaks again. "I mean... yeah? Ain't like it's all that important." it being his friends missing dick, of course, but he's going to be nice and not say it outright outloud. As tactless as he is, he knows better than to push too far. "Or is it something you're hung up on?"
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He's never been good with words — neither of them have — and he supposes that might have been why they settled into friendship as well as they had, not needing words so much as an outlet for the ones they couldn't find.
He nods, but doesn't say anything, casting his smile down just the slightest bit, letting it slide into something a bit softer.
Because Shinjiro is always going to be able to read him like a well-loved book, creases in the spine and dog-ears on the pages, marking favored or memorable passages that he never would have claimed for himself, because he'd thought them inadmissible.
( And fucking listen, you heathen, it wasn't a chair.
It was a whole-ass sofa down in the commonroom, a sofa that Mitsuru had helped extricate him from without a word because she is both a queen and a lady and even still, he doesn't want to think about it because it's just one of those things that he wouldn't mind forgetting. )
Shinji might not press too far, at least not within his own boundaries but the implication alone is enough to bring another flush of color to Akihiko's cheeks, the highest points of them, and he tries to dart his gaze off, again, to some nondescript point in the middle-ground but that question brings him back around again, holds him rapt, because it is something he's been thinking about as of late.
Just. Because. His missing dick, it seems, is of no real consequence when it comes down to it.
He shrugs, folding both arms over his chest in a way that makes it look like he's being defensive, but it's not. Not really. "Not. Really." He pauses. Stalls in a way that might make it seem like it's more of a loss than he's conveying.
But it really isn't. Don't read too much into it.
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Just like that aforementioned well-loved book, pouring over the pages and reading deeper than the text on the page, there's so much more in everything Akihiko isn't saying. Or what he's barely saying. The stiffness of his posture, the 'not really', rather than an outright denial, the way he doesn't turn it into some sort of stupid banter between them.
"That ain't a no."
And this is not the conversation he expected to have today, but this is where they are. An off-hand comment earned a quiet confession, and like a dog who managed to get a hold of that well-loved book, he's going to sink his teeth in and worry it until all the hidden pages fall out and can be put back together.
But he lets that pause sit for a moment, allows it to stretch out and let the tension bleed the slightest bit, before he brings up a hand to rest at Akihiko's shoulder, just giving a line of unspoken contact and comfort there. It's another unspoken bit between them-- that line of support, always present, never truly pointed out.
"C'mon Aki, cut the strongman act. This whole thing sucks. You can vent if you want."
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"It's not a yes, either." Well. Of course he's gone and shown that it might be a bigger deal than he's making it out to be by not outright settling into their normal back-and-forth, the snark that has a tendency to make up more of their conversations than it doesn't; it's not that his heart isn't in it, because the other always has the whole of their attention when they're together, but maybe he's still trying to wrap his head around this whole situation, trying to get used to how things are going to be for the foreseeable future.
Because neither of them know if he's going to be like this forever, for a couple of months, if he's going to wake up and find his bottom half back the way it should be. He's just a bit distracted from their version of normal, which is to say that this whole thing is getting to him more than he's letting on, because usually? Their normal is the kind of distraction he defaults to when he needs one.
The point of contact sees him relaxing again by degrees, angling himself toward that touch, expression cracking around the edges and he gives over a sigh. His brows are pinched, mouth pulled to the side and it looks for a handful of seconds like he's at war with himself on whether or not he wants to be more truthful than he has up to this point. Another handful of seconds and he's exhaling a breath he hadn't been aware of holding in, and his lungs ache with it, and when he looks up at the other again that expression has a few more cracks in it.
"It's frustrating," is what he ends up saying, ducking his head just a bit, the point of his chin briefly resting against the back of Shinjiro's hand. "I guess, if i had to say anything about it. That's the easiest way to put it."
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"I mean-- I'd be fucking out of my mind, not knowing my own damn body anymore. No one could blame you if you were fed up with it." Sure, at least the rest of him is still human. He can still talk and gesture and punch and eat food normally (probably). But the rest? Getting around? Staying warm enough to do anything? Knowing what your own anatomy looks like or what to expect from it?
He can't blame Akihiko for putting up a strong front, and wearing himself down on the inside.
He's not an emotionally-hugging kind of guy, so he doesn't move to initiate more contact. But he allows that contact with the back of his hand, gives Akihiko's shoulder a bit of a squeeze, and most tellingly, doesn't retreat, even when things are getting a bit more real.
"Weird as it sounds, you ain't in this alone, alright? Just.... lemme know if you need anything."
A pause, and slowly he lets a bit of a wry smirk spread, hopefully helping nudge Akihiko from the slump.
"If you really need, I'll be your hunter for you."
yep. sure did just offer to help find his snake dick.
#bros4life.